I honestly can’t believe how I got here…. how the hell was I trapped by a bloody cyborg in my modest little campus room? ? This maniac of a man, half steel, half human had imprisoned me in this tiny single room I call my humble abode. How was I going to escape? He would outrun me for sure. Speaking of which, what happened to me. I was on the path to fitness, my Nike running up set, a few medals on the app to boot, tracksuit and Nike sneakers…. Instead of watching my weight, I am just watching it go up….
Anyway, back to the cyborg, I was losing hope seeing that he had blocked the door. I knew trying to call for help wouldn’t do and he was not granting any bathroom breaks that’s for sure. Luckily, some mentee from a mentorship program I lead came calling. Somehow, I managed to answer the door and run for the hills. Darn it! I had left my phone, but I didn’t care, all I wanted was to run and hide. Hide I did with the gracious help from my next door neighbor. I had done it! Or so I thought until I saw the cyborg asking around for me!
My throat was really dry… I was in despair. Why me? Suddenly, I heard Toni Braxton in the background and saw nothing but pitch black when I opened my eyes. Oh! Thank God! It was just a silly nightmare. That’s what I get for watching Archer S5 ! Cyborgs! How ridiculous! I called my boyfriend for some encouragement regardless of it being 3.30am. There is something evil about that hour I tell ya. After an episode of Glee I went back to bed. Woke up at 8 am to attempt a take away CAT and being that I was going to be busy with the U.S. Embassy, I had ran out of time.
I should have smelled a rat at 3.30 am. This was not going to be a bad day. Cyborg or not. All the same, I got busy and as instructed my bestie and I were ready to go to the meeting point at Parklands.
See the trip to the embassy was organized by a women student leadership group in university. I was eager to attend, drawn by the theme of women empowerment and breaking the glass ceiling as per the WhatsApp group. I was going to keep time, I was not going to be labelled an African timer, oh no! I was turning the punctual cheek.
The matatu used Muthithi road instead and we ended up walking twice as long. Why did I wear my killer black heels? Why did I not carry some flats? Anyway, there was a students bus, my suffering would end soon. On reaching Parklands, we discovered the bus was no where in site. We decided to intercept it at the town meeting point. As you can tell, we ain’t exactly the patient type.
Well finally after being beat down by the hot sun and humid Nairobi weather we were finally enroute. I told myself, it will be all worth it. You will leave empowered ready to be the next Condeleezza Rice.
The security procedures at the gate are no joke. After endless screening, we were finally inside the embassy albeit a little hungry. OK who I am kidding? I can be a bit of a foodie! I was famished. All the same we were warmly ushered into the library.
Odd choice to hold a talk, I thought to myself. All the same I couldn’t help rolling my eyes when I heard blonde comments from my peers. ” Oh so this is the U.N !” I heard one exclaim. I felt sorry for the men and maybe women who had once toiled so hard at the gates putting together tge immaculate sign reading ” U.S Embassy”. Little did they know someone would still read it as UN. Shame shame, crying shame. Another kept asking whether her lipstick was in check while another was busy wearing her heels while waiting for security clearance. Believe it or not but while on the way to Gigiri…. a lady was actually applying nail polish! And they only did it on hand. Weird right! ?
Anyhow, I was finally here ready to hear from the U.S. ambassador who had confirmed his attendance yesterday! This was going to be inspirational! There was some opening speech by the supervisor. Jolly chap right there. Then a step by step guide of how to access the online resources. How now? What of women empowerment? Talk of disappointment. There was this good natured man showing us how to log in, where to click if I want to download a book. Lord have mercy but I started dozing. Not that he was boring or anything but this was not what I had signed up for literally.
Later on a lovely lady came on to talk about studying in the U.S for grad school and lets just say it is no walk in the park. The application process is quite something and don’t get me started on the GMATs. Got me thinking and re thinking about my once ambitious plans to fly out.
All in all the embassy was lovely and the people were really warm but the false advertising is what pissed me off. I honestly felt wasted and duped. Being the marketer I am, I am just glad I can take comfort in the fact that such crimes are punishable in the real world.
Now the take away cat I was going on and on about beckons and I gotta go. Any who feels good to be back, feels good to write again! Ciao!